Today, there was a man in a blue t-shirt and he was floating around the weights section. Every now and then he would lift a really heavy weight a few times, make a lot of grunting noises and let us all know that he was very strong. Then he would put the weight down, and wander round for a bit. He would stalk around the weights in a predatory way, as though he and he alone was man enough to lift those weights. Then he would “accidentally” end up by a mirror, and just happen to check himself out. “Oh, I am so strong and so beautiful.” He would tense his muscles, check his goatee beard for perfection, then return to his routine. Another couple of weights, another wander round, another five minutes in front of the mirror.

There’s a woman who works at the gym, she’s actually the one who gave us our induction, showed us how all the machines worked, and expected us to remember which machines worked which muscles and which order to do them in. She’s pretty in a tomboyish kind of way, with spiky dark hair and a piercing on her face. I find this woman very intriguing, and I think it’s because she’s the kind of person I think came out of my old school. The school was very sports centred and there were people everywhere, bouncing around in their little shorts, beating other schools at netball, and studying for their physical training and biology classes so that they could ace them and do some kind of coaching/physiotherapy/gym stuff.

Fitness I don’t think I have ever felt this uncomfortable in my own skin. Therefore the first of my New Year’s Resolutions is definitely to start doing something about this. My usual plan of action would be to stop any kind of food passing my lips for a week or so and then go back to normal. This time, I’m going to do it properly. Cut down on the biscuits, start doing some exercise (ugh) and try and be a lot healthier.

In order to get my lazy backside off the sofa and doing a bit of exercise, but not wanting to go into the big, bad world of outside, I purchased a fitness DVD. I already own the Hotpants Workout (let me tell you now though, I will never wear hotpants), but I was starting to get bored of it and fancied a change. Enter Angela Griffin and her Dance Mix Workout. It’s actually really good, and I don’t find myself getting breathless but feel myself being exercised, which is always a good thing. My only criticism is that the woman showing us the moves (that’s not Angela Griffin) is way too skinny, and she keeps saying “bootylicious”. I don’t need to hear that.

Don’t assume, because you are going to a pool full of water, that you won’t be thirsty when you get out. Chlorine is not thirst-quenching. Don’t wear your most precious jewellery to the leisure centre as the heart attack that ensues when you can’t find it, even though you know you stuffed it right into the toe of your trainers, is not fun. If you find that the person before you left their pound in the locker, smile and pick it up, but beware that nothing comes for free. In this instance, I spent the entire session panicking that I wouldn’t be able to get my clothes back, as the key wouldn’t turn when I tested it before swimming. (I eventually managed to prise it open). Don’t rush to change back into your outside clothes. Trying to pull on jeans when you have wet legs is not easy and to hurry this task will only result in further frustration and eventually tears. Don’t wear jeans.

Well, that’s the plan anyway, swimming is my new favourite hobby. I thought I’d forgotten how to do it, but yesterday, I actually started to feel like I knew what I was doing. I’m a little annoyed though because he egged me on, saying “Of course you can open your eyes underwater, there’s nothing wrong with it, your eyes will get used to it.” And, I can’t fault his truthfulness, but when I left the pool after a half hour of eye-opening swimming, I looked like a devil child with bright red eyes, and I felt like I’d been crying for a week!

Okay, so here’s the lowdown on what’s been going on recently… My love of Queen is still going on unabated, I listen to them a lot and have recently started singing loudly to Bohemian Rhapsody and falling in love with it all over again. I got a workout DVD, which is mostly dancing which is great because you’re so busy concentrating on getting the moves right, you barely notice you’ve been exercising for an hour. I really, really wanted to be learning something new so I had a peruse through some courses. Psychology, Economics, that kind of thing. To help me see if it was for me, I picked up a copy of The Economist and I loved it! It’s weekly, though, and that’s not fair because it’s taking me to get through it. Mr C says I should just read as much as I can and then get the new one each time because soon I’ll be understanding it more and more and finding it easier to read, so when I finally manage to finish it before the new one comes out, it’ll be a momentous day. I went to the cinema on my own and saw the third Matrix film. I thought it was really good. I’ve heard people saying they thought it didn’t end properly and didn’t explain all the things it opened up in the second film. Now, I’m completely positive they should have just left it at the one film because that one was a classic and changed the way films are made today. The second one left a lot to be desired, but I thought the third made up for that totally. It answered all the questions I have and it seemed to end properly to me, the action was great (especially when Agent Smith’s face goes all slow-mo and wobbly) and there were only a few corny bits which I was thankful for. Basically, my opinion is that if they had to make it a trilogy, then they ended it well, even if it lacks that extra something in the middle.