The Costner battle

Published May 28, 2022

I’ve mentioned before that I’m completely into the Top of the Pops replays on BBC Four at the moment, as they have reached the early nineties and I’m loving this era of music… we’re heading rapidly towards Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls and so much more goodness. They recently rounded out the year 1992 with the Christmas special, and at this moment in time, Whitney Houston had her vice-like grip on the number one spot with I Will Always Love You. This, of course, from the movie The Bodyguard featuring Kevin Costner.

Whitney’s tenure at number one came about a year after Bryan Adams broke records for his 16-week run at the top of the UK singles chart with (Everything I Do) I Do It for You, the main theme from the movie Robin Hood featuring… wait… also Kevin Costner? Is that a coincidence or does Costner have some effect on the longevity of these singles? Generally speaking people have a love/hate relationship with the songs because they are undoubtedly good but when you hear them so often, they can lose some of their gloss.

For the films behind the music, the opposite is true. They aren’t the best rated screen offerings out there but I have to admit they are two films that I love. That’s why it wasn’t funny, when we were watching Whitney belting out her best and Mr C asked: “If you could only watch one of these movies again, which would it be?”

Walk of fame star with Kevin Costner’s name

Sacrificing one Kevin Costner character for another is not as simple an ask as it sounds. My instinct is to go for The Bodyguard because it’s a better, more concise, film, and there are lots of other good songs in there (Queen of the Night and I Have Nothing proper standouts). But wait, wait, wait, Robin Hood has the inimitable Alan Rickman in it, threatening people with spoons. Ooh, and the wonderful line that I quote at least once a week: ‘Something vexes thee?’

Both of them got 4 out of 5 when I reviewed them on this site, so that doesn’t help. They’re both over two hours, so neither wins on the length stakes. In fact, the only thing I can use to decide is the Rotten Tomatoes % ratings that I tend to completely disagree with. Robin Hood has 51% and The Bodyguard has 35%, so given that I’m often thinking the opposite of whatever Rotten Tomatoes says… The Bodyguard wins!

I’m really not happy about it, but if I have to decide between the two, this will have to do. Just don’t mention that I also really love Waterworld or who knows where we’ll be.

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