The Guinness Surger and how it can change your life

Published April 5, 2006

Have you heard about the Guinness Surger yet? The official site (link retired) can tell you about it. It only tells you how to do it though, because no one knows how it actually works. Something to do with fairies, I think.

Anyway, it’s only available in a certain supermarket that begins with a T and ends in Esco, and so now I have to return there to get the required cans, and end up doing my shopping as well. Those marketing people are good, aren’t they?

I approached the stand where the Guinness was proudly displayed and at the same time a man and little boy were looking at the surger. The little boy seemed to desperately want one, and the dad was trying to convince him it was not a toy.

“In fact,” he said, picking up the pack. “I don’t even know what it does.”

And me, in all my wisdom, stood there with my trolley and picking out my own cans of Guinness, told him.

“Basically, you pour the Guinness from these cans, and it has no head at all, like, totally flat. And then you put it on the base unit, and press the button, and like magic, all the bubbles start rising up the glass. Just like in the pub. Better than pub, you might say.”

He blinked at me, said he’d have to think about it, and walked off. I watched him go, and then continued on my way, happy that I’d done my bit for the confused passerby. It was only when I had taken several steps away, that I realised I had thrown on my huge Guinness jumper in an attempt to keep out the cold that morning. A girl in a Guinness jumper, picking up cans of Guinness, trying to pressure someone to buy a Guinness product. Now that’s a good look.

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