We'll Never Have Paris
Published October 7, 2018
Film info
- Title We'll Never Have Paris
- Directors Simon Helberg, Jocelyn Towne
- Year 2014
- Run time 1hr 32m
- Genres Comedy, Romance
- Tagline Based on a true story... unfortunately
In a story based on true events, Quinn (Simon Helberg) has been in a devoted relationship with Devon (Melanie Lynskey) for several years, and is ready to propose marriage until a gorgeous blonde co-worker reveals her love for him. Quinn immediately has second thoughts about matrimony and ends up terminating his relationship with his long-time better half. After a brief relationship with the blonde, Quinn quickly realises he's made the mistake of a lifetime, so he sets off to Paris, where his one and only true love has moved, to win her back.
Live blog
| Time | Comment |
|---|---|
| 2:03 | Yay, Alfred Molina! |
| 3:49 | “It’s a condition. Treatable. Marriage, I mean” |
| 6:56 | Those glasses are epic. |
| 11:45 | Don’t see what’s wrong with one person, if they’re the right person. |
| 13:10 | “My hand span does seem smaller.” Weird thing to happen. |
| 18:30 | You can corn your own beef? |
| 21:03 | Don’t break up with someone when they’re in the bath. |
| 22:32 | “Obviously your brain is trying to tell you something.” |
| 32:07 | Stealing a whole plant seems a bit OTT though. |
| 38:36 | I wanna go on holiday with this guy, he seems like fun! |
| 41:20 | Facebook is evil. Drunk Facebooking is the worst. |
| 50:28 | Must be so good to have family or links to another country, just to make that introduction a bit easier. |
| 57:24 | I really feel like the first time to try a cigarette is not when you’re trying to impress. |
| 1:03:31 | It IS selfish to have gone out there. Surprises suck. |
| 1:04:31 | House of the Rising Sun sounds so much better in French. |
| 1:09:04 | Fast forward to me catching up on Duolingo again. |
| 1:14:57 | Stalker! |
| 1:17:50 | Tumult is an excellent word. |
| 1:22:26 | “There’s a ring in my trunk,” is a rubbish proposal. |
| 1:26:59 | IT GOT WORSE. |
Conclusions
Oof, wanted to like this because, you know, Big Bang Theory fans, but this did not go down well. There were a few fun moments and I loved Alfred Molina, but for the most part, this was a painful watch. Quinn is just not a very nice or interesting character, which doesn’t help when the entire movie is based around his bad decisions and then his attempts to rectify them.
I spent most of the film thinking she could do a lot better than him, and then waiting for something to happen - but it felt like the same scene was repeating over and over again. Either the story wasn’t told very well, or it really wasn’t worth telling.
Rating: 1/5
Rating: 1 / 5