Blackbird
Published February 12, 2023
Film info
- Title Blackbird
- Director Michael Flatley
- Year 2018
- Run time 1hr 28m
- Genres Crime, Action, Romance
- Tagline Some things are still worth dying for
Trouble secret agent 'Blackbird' abruptly retires from service and opens a luxurious hotel in the Caribbean to escape the dark shadows of his past. An old flame arrives and reignites love in his life, but she brings danger with her.
Live blog
| Time | Comment |
|---|---|
| 0:14 | His company is called DanceLord! |
| 4:44 | “He’s irreplaceable. No one can do what he does.” Love being able to write about yourself in your own script. |
| 10:08 | Are we supposed to have any idea what’s going on? |
| 17:21 | Interesting that the audio with menacing building is more impactful than the actual violence. |
| 22:38 | Would never pick yellow over any other colour option, dude. |
| 26:17 | If he’s trying to blend in, the yellow suit and jaunty hat angle are not helping! |
| 35:11 | It sounds a bit like the super-soldier serum. |
| 42:27 | Saves on washing up, I suppose, throwing your champagne glass into the ocean. |
| 48:27 | “We used to stop the bad guys, not marry them.” Oof. |
| 53:44 | Not to take away from the, er, passion, but why is he the only person who can stop this? |
| 1:00:43 | What is it with men and random poker games to try and prove something? |
| 1:11:35 | “Bless me father, for I have sinned… and I’m about to sin again.” Haha. |
Thoughts
Woah. This film.
I watched it because it’s such a bizarre concept - this guy who was SO good at making Irish dancing a global phenomenon decided he wanted to write, produce, direct and star in a spy movie. The film is a bit of a laughing stock in the industry and I knew going into it that it was going to be bad.
It was somehow even worse than I thought. Bad acting, a story that took forever to get going, barely any actual action scenes (part of the big showdown at the end happened off-screen whilst we watched other characters reactions?) and many, many spy cliches that don’t even fit with the story.
But having said that, I thought for the first thirty minutes or so I would never survive to the end of it but it got marginally more interesting as it went along. That’s the best I can give it.
Rating: 1 / 5