My Archers posts are always a few days late, which means in Ambridge, Will and Nic are already married. I, however, don’t listen to the new month until I’ve published this (it’s kind of an incentive) and thus I am left on the eve of the big day. We’ve heard far too much drunk rambling from Nic on her hen night, and we’ve heard Ian and Caroline take custody on the cake. Moments later, she slipped over and fell on it. Apparently, there’s room for a bit of slapstick at Grey Gables, of which I heartily approve. Especially if it means Ian can play the hero.

I assume it has worked out okay, as the BBC Archers blog posted some photos of the happy couple heading off on their honeymoon. Or, in reality, a couple of actors in coats. Lots of complaints in the comments over there that the pictures are dull and depressing and why couldn’t we have some of the wedding itself. I can’t see that going over well with the Beeb’s budgeting committee. Anyway, happy for Will and Nic, assuming it all went well, and hoping we can steer clear of their honeymoon period, considering how lovey dovey they have been already.

Elsewhere, the big talking point of the month was Pat’s near miss with kidnapping. I assume that is why she was researching which school Rich/John went to, because I can’t really think of another explanation. Thankfully, a crisis, police standoff and lengthy jail sentence was all averted when quick-thinking Tony called Sharon’s fella and they organised a meeting. I was a bit affronted that it fell to the two men to talk sense while their women ran around all emotional and such, but all’s well that ends well. Pat saw her beloved grandson and then, after upsetting her children once more, realised that she loved her close family more than ever. Only Tom is left feeling quite uncertain over the future, dreading the idea of sharing his inheritance with an unexpected claimant.

By the by, Brenda will never entertain any talk of her and Tom getting married. Is it the idea of a wedding that she dislikes so much, or is she just stringing him along?

In other news, Lynda’s Around the World cabaret went off smoothly, with Jim opting to speak English, and Jazzer choosing an appropriate song. I assume that they got their heads together and planned how to stress Lynda out as much as possible. It certainly worked. Other stressed villagers include Neil, who is fed up with Tracey and her offspring outstaying their welcome. It’s certainly crossing the line to let the pigs out just so the kids can have a cuddle, and Tracey has been pretty obnoxious throughout. However, it is kind of fun to have her around to have someone irritating Susan, rather than the other way round.

Finally, over at Brookfield, the kids got involved with a roundtable chat on how to save the farm. The badgers are causing sewage problems (or something), and it’s all going to cost a lot of money. Pip raised the thorny subject of having no dairy at the farm, but Ruth would hear none of it. What with that and her reaction to the mega-dairy there does seem an unwillingness to move with the times for Ruth. I wouldn’t dream of thinking I know any better just because I listen to Farming Today, but something’s going to have to give, isn’t it?

Oh, there’s just time to mention the conclusion of the second series of Ambridge Extra. Erin got her come-uppance, Clive chased after Alice who knocked him over in her car, and then had a heart to heart with Usha. All very dramatic, and entertaining enough. Clive uttered the somewhat threatening phrase “see you around.” Uh oh, indeed. Ambridge Extra may not see us around, given the speculation over its future. It’s been fun, and I’d listen to more if it happens, but I don’t think I’d miss it if it didn’t.