The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
Published September 7, 2021
Film info
- Title The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
- Director Peter Jackson
- Year 2014
- Run time 2hrs 24m
- Genres Action, Adventure, Fantasy
- Tagline Witness the defining chapter of the Middle-earth saga
Having reclaimed Erebor and vast treasure from the dragon Smaug, Thorin Oakenshield sacrifices friendship and honour in seeking the Arkenstone, despite Smaug's fiery wrath and desperate attempts by the hobbit Bilbo to make him see reason. Meanwhile, Sauron sends legions of Orcs in a sneak attack upon the Lonely Mountain. As the fate of Middle Earth hangs in the balance, the races of Men, Elves and Dwarves must decide whether to unite and prevail - or all die.
Live blog
| Time | Comment |
|---|---|
| 7:25 | The convenient moments are killing me. He remembered about the arrow just as they were passing it. |
| 9:18 | He’s a really smug dragon. Pipe down. |
| 10:34 | He made a bow and arrow out of his son! |
| 14:43 | Interesting that the love triangle is the other way this time. |
| 23:30 | The pig-pig survived! |
| 30:33 | Galadrial actually did something useful. |
| 41:52 | I think I’d be that good at night watch too. |
| 46:42 | I feel like the answer to all Thorin’s questions should be ‘because I just killed the dragon, what you got?’. |
| 1:00:56 | “There will be no need for war.” The title of this film suggests otherwise. |
| 1:08:53 | “Would you consider… just sodding off?” |
| 1:14:01 | Monster headbutting the wall is hilarious. |
| 1:21:17 | They know he is sick and they know he is wrong. Just lock him up in a dungeon and get on with it. |
| 1:31:41 | It’s quite hard not to hear the word Wunderbar, even though it’s basically the opposite. |
| 1:42:56 | Legolas overwatch. |
| 1:56:14 | “I’m glad to have shared in your perils.” |
Thoughts
And so it was over. The pacing of this movie felt weird because obviously they wrapped up the dragon cliffhanger from the previous movie in the first ten minutes, and then got on with the finale. And by the end, rather than dragging on and on and on as we did in part three of LotR, it just ended with quite a lot of questions left unanswered. So weird.
The action was good, the drama kept me engaged, but the plot just felt quite silly and some of the choices odd - why did Thorin just suddenly break free of his sickness? And why did he think ice would kill that apparently unkillable Orc? Also, who decided on five armies because that was just too many to keep track of and/or care about.
Ultimately, I think Peter Jackson learnt some lessons from the Lord of the Rings and tried to fix some wrongs, so that The Hobbit trilogy was probably more entertaining as a whole than its predecessor. However, it still wasn’t great, had a lot of glaring plotholes, and stretched out a story that could have been told significantly quicker. And better.
Rating: 3 / 5
