“I need another pair of earphones,” I said.

“What’s wrong with the five pairs you already have?”

“I don’t have five!” Indignantly, I counted them. I didn’t have five. I had six.

But they’re all for different purposes, you know?

• Original AirPods - revolutionary and brilliant but struggling for battery life.
• AirPods Pro - to replace the AirPods, which I never quite got round to throwing away.
• BeatsX - sporting headphones, but again struggling for battery life.
• BeatsX but in a different colour - to replace the original Beats X that I couldn’t quite bring myself to ditch.
• AirPods Max - Because they are freaking awesome. And also felt like my ears could do with a break from all the inner ear nonsense.
• Beats EP - Wired Beats required for Windows laptop since working from home

The new ones, by the way, are absolutely necessary and could not be fulfilled by any of the above - a pair of earphones specifically for Fitness+ workouts.

This is an absolutely reasonable and sensible state of affairs and I will not hear otherwise… because I’ll have earphones in.