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99. Primeval

Published December 10, 2010

Fast Facts

Title: Primeval Director: Michael Katleman Year: 2007 Run time: 1hr 33

Background Info

This was an iPlayer one that I had never heard of but it looked nice and modern, nice and short, and would fill a little gap in my day. The cast didn’t exactly sell it to me as I haven’t heard of any of them, but I wouldn’t let that stop me!

Live Blog

****00:00:15 - Uh oh. True events and killer crocodiles. I’m concerned. 00:02:23 - Aaand fast moving camera work makes me dizzy. 00:03:27 - They named the killer crocodile Gustave? That doesn’t seem so scary. Isn’t the guy from Beauty and the Beast called Gustav? 00:04:13 - Another unique way of continuing the story through the credits. I like it. 00:06:46 - If you ever need a reason not to be a news journalist, it’s the possibility of being sent to a war zone in search of a man-eating crocodile. 00:09:22 - I bet you a tenner the cameraman doesn’t make the end of the film. 00:11:42 - Crocodiles can grow indefinitely? Yikes. 00:15:05 - Good lord, they’ve been there five minutes and they are already being shot at. 00:15:55 - It is quite beautiful though. 00:19:24 - Why would you be so keen on keeping the croc alive? It’s a KILLER. **00:21:22 **- First reference to Jaws. 00:25:40 - I don’t think you should say “I’m allergic to mumbo jumbo” right there in front of them all.** **00:32:53 - It’s quite Jurassic Park to use a goat as bait. 00:42:49 - It moves very fast for an enormous beast. 00:43:19 - Still the cage seems to be holding up for now. I say FOR NOW.** **00:47:23 - What the… oh for a moment I forgot crocodiles could go on land. Confused with Jaws. 00:48:31 - He can’t possibly still want to stay. He must have an ulterior motive. 00:51:23 - Aviva is a weird name, isn’t it? 00:55:01 - That’s just like Jaws. The only way to kill these animals is to blow them up.** **00:55:29 - …or not.** **00:58:59 - Would the helicopter attract of detract the croc, I wonder. We’ll never know now.** **01:01:44 - Was that another bazooka? If it was, I’m going to be really mad. 01:02:46 - SNAKE!** **01:03:49 - Oooh, I like that death by tree. 01:06:04 - From an actors point of view, running around in the wet and mud must be draining. **01:07:45 - **Is this when I make my ten pounds? Did anyone take that bet? Anyone? **01:15:59 **- What are the chances of little Gustave being eaten by big Gustave? **01:18:30 **- I feel bad now. I don’t want that tenner. 01:23:24 - I can’t work out if that is a good or bad advert for Range Rover. 01:24:23 - Are dogs just allowed to ride on your lap in a plane like that?** **

Conclusions

This really wasn’t a very good film at all, but I do have to give it props for not being completely and utterly predictable. It wasn’t all about the big giant crocodile, there was a lot of human vs human angst going on as well, and the added problem of the killer croc was just there to make things that much harder. I can’t say I would recommend this onwards but it was a good way to spend 90 minutes.

Rating: 35

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