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Rambo

Published September 21, 2019

Rambo

Film info

  • Title Rambo
  • Director Sylvester Stallone
  • Year 2008
  • Run time 1hr 30m
  • Genres Action, Thriller
  • Tagline Heroes never die... they just reload

When governments fail to act on behalf of captive missionaries, ex-Green Beret John James Rambo sets aside his peaceful existence along the Salween River in a war-torn region of Thailand to take action. Although he’s still haunted by violent memories of his time as a U.S. soldier during the Vietnam War, Rambo can hardly turn his back on the aid workers who so desperately need his help.

Live blog

TimeComment
1:14That feels like an inappropriate time to do an “…in the world.”
6:44Stop it with all the snakes. I know it’s a jungle film but seriously.
8:34That’s what they need. Bibles.
13:40That rain though. They will definitely have noticed it.
15:05He CAN’T be called John Rambo. This is like when I learned the Edge is called Dave.
20:27Wow, Rambo is scary. He ain’t no Rocky.
31:07Ooh Rambo origin story. How have they made him young?
34:09I’m ready to leave, he thinks, but first I need to blacksmith a machete.
41:27Must have been easy for Sylv to learn this script. He hasn’t said anything for the last ten minutes.
43:12Just your regular World War II bomb hanging in the trees.
48:52“Live for nothing or die for something.”
55:26He melted into the bushes like Lara.
1:01:35“Why’d you come back?” “Why did you?”
1:08:31Jeez louise, the size of that explosion!
1:11:21Oh my god, the way he rose up in the background…
1:14:58He’s gonna get boat rage now.
1:19:10Curious how they got back given they blew up literally every boat.
1:20:34In real life, turns out he’s a cowboy.

Thoughts

Okay, this is going to take some unravelling.

Apple had an offer on this movie presumably to generate interest in the latest entry in the franchise. So we snapped it up and watched it. And as you can tell from my notes above, I had no idea it wasn’t the first one.

The title makes it seem like it’s the first one - who knew Rambo had managed to mess up the titling so much?

  • First Blood
  • Rambo: First Blood Part II
  • Rambo III
  • Rambo
  • Rambo: Last Blood

WTF?

Ordinarily, I’d be very unsettled by not watching these films in order but as it turns out, it’s not a problem because I don’t want to watch any of the other films.

The underlying story is okay but dude, the violence. I don’t understand it. The guns seem to blow people to absolute pieces, what kind of machinery is this? It was gruesome and gory and gross and although not out of place - I can totally see it would be a violent world out there - it was gratuitous.

Just not interested in watching any more of this series, whether forwards or backwards in the franchise.

Rating: 2 / 5

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