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Batman Returns

Published July 27, 2019

Batman Returns

Film info

  • Title Batman Returns
  • Director Tim Burton
  • Year 1992
  • Run time 2hrs 6m
  • Genres Fantasy, Action
  • Tagline The bat, the cat, the penguin

In the second of the blockbuster Batman films, the physically deformed criminal genius The Penguin threatens Gotham City - and, helpless, the entire city can only pray that Batman Returns. Only Batman (Michael Keaton) can defend the city from total chaos as The Penguin (Danny DeVito) lays twisted waste to a great metropolis. Meanwhile, the Dark Knight may have met his equal in the lethally lithe Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) - only he doesn't know if she is feline friend... or foe.

Live blog

TimeComment
2:34Make it as fun-gothic as you like, that’s a dark start to a film.
5:32Wouldn’t have put Gotham down as a place penguins would call home.
15:28I’m liking a Batmobile with a hydraulic point turn.
17:03Gotta love Michelle Pfeiffer.
18:02Oh, it was a zoo! Penguin away, then.
22:52“You flush it, I flaunt it” is a RUBBISH catchphrase.
26:30I feel like she shouldn’t admit hacking into her boss’s computer to her actual boss.
31:25Less keen now she garbage disposaled the teddy bears.
35:59Gotta say, thirty minutes of this film and nowhere near enough Batman.
39:12“Must you be the only lonely man-beast in town?”
49:11Lots of echoes of Edward Scissorhands in this one.
1:01:13He knows who she is though, right? You can see her whole face.
1:11:38Vicki mention! Love it.
1:14:44“Could you just make up a sonnet?” Hahaha!
1:23:39Great idea, a Batmobile simulator! Not for those nefarious purposes, obviously. Fun though!
1:28:19Ooh, referencing the huge plot hole from the previous movie - Alfred just letting Vicki in the batcave. Love them calling it out like that, even if they should have at the time.
1:30:30BATMAN. CDs don’t work like that, you should know that.
1:40:22“In the duck.” What the hell is this film.
1:42:44Oooh, Batman stationery. Mmmm.
1:46:35There’s an inconsistent usage of the penguin manipulation helmet that makes me wonder if they are doing it off their own back.
1:48:27Getaway duck. OMG it’s all-terrain as well.
1:52:43Polar bear falls amongst ball of flames. So ahead of their time with the metaphors.

Thoughts

I said it above in the notes but it bears repeating: What the hell is this film? How is it by the same people as the last one? They took the comic feel and ran with it so badly that none of it makes any sense and it is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous.

My biggest complaint with the film is that for a Batman movie, there is very little Batman. He’s barely in it in the first half an hour, and he’s very slow to react to all the emergencies. It makes no sense that he doesn’t know how CatWoman is and whilst the scenes of them together should be electric because they’re both awesome actors, they don’t actually appear to have very much chemistry.

I don’t even know where to start on the penguin guy. I was staggered most of the time when I kept remembering it was Danny DeVito in there, it didn’t look like him at all! But what is that character all about? And the all-terrain rubber ducky? And the penguins that were wearing helmets and then not wearing helmets.

I don’t know. It was kinda fun to watch but mostly because we were constantly boggling at the weirdness of it all. It’s not a good film.

Rating: 1 / 5

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