Precious Cargo

Published July 17, 2016

Precious Cargo

Film info

  • Title Precious Cargo
  • Director Max Adams
  • Year 2016
  • Run time 1hr 30m
  • Genres
  • Tagline Never steal from a thief

Adrenaline-pumping chases and deadly double-crosses electrify this twist-filled thriller. After a botched heist, thieves and ex-lovers Jack and Karen (Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Claire Forlani) are targeted by Eddie (Bruce Willis), a murderous crime boss. To escape with their lives, Jack and Karen must steal a cargo of precious gems. But when the job goes down, allegiances are betrayed and lines are crossed as Jack, Karen, and Eddie face off in a fateful showdown.

Background info

Title: Previous Cargo Director: Max Adams Year: 2016 Run time: 1hr 30m

Live blog

3:35 – Don’t mess with arms dealers, I guess! 5:00 – “By the way, you got some brain in your hair.” Ewwwww. 8:10 – Some pretty long opening credits. Not much story to tell! 12:25 – I never really took Bruce to be one so fussy about ties. 16:46 – Also, I’m quite enjoying that Bruce comes with his own drum beat. 19:29 – Always live somewhere with a boat in the back to escape with. 24:21 – I admire that pregnancy isn’t slowing her down. 37:56 – Oof, if I was him I would never be able to go back in that bar again. 42:35 – Will it blend? 46:21 – So much drone footage, it’s amazing. 49:17 – Car chase with a car being towed is confusing. 53:34 – Holy dingleberries. 58:45 – I like the overwatch woman, dammit. 1:06:26 – “Half a bill, in diamonds.” All casual like. 1:12:56 – Semi smug face. 1:22:15 – Roy the dog. 1:25:27 – Will it golf?


Looking at Rotten Tomatoes just before publishing, I noticed this film has 0% on the tomatometer. Now, that’s because it’s in cinemas now and so lacking in reviewers, but even so, that seems incredibly harsh.

It’s clearly a low budget movie, an indy that does look cheap in places - the producers clearly spent some money on a drone and were damned if they weren’t going to get maximum use out of it. So it did look cheaper than your average blockbuster, but I still thought it was a lot of fun.

I spent the entire film wondering where I knew the main actor from and was staggered at the end to realise it’s only flipping Zach from Saved By the Bell. Incredz! He was actually really good, and the characters added something interesting and different to what could have been a standard heist film. Logan was wonderfully grumpy, Eddie kind of rubbish for the big bad, and the bickering married couple were brilliant!

It’s not the best film I’ve ever seen, but it’s certainly worth more than 0%.

Rating: 3/5.

Rating: 3 / 5

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