Title: Ted 2 Director: Seth MacFarlane Year: 2015 Run time: 1hr 55m
“Everyone’s favorite foulmouthed teddy bear is back for a second round of hilarious antics and outrageous adventures. When Ted (voiced by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane) is declared property by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Ted and his best friend John (Mark Wahlberg, Transformers: Age of Extinction, The Other Guys) must go to court to fight for Ted’s personhood. With the help of their smart, beautiful (and pot-loving) lawyer (Amanda Seyfried, Mamma Mia!, Les Misérables), the thunder buddies for life battle to legalize Ted in this “wickedly funny” sequel that will keep fans laughing right up to the very end.”
0:54 – Yay, Patrick’s back! 4:20 – I Spy the drugtaker is kinda a fun game. 6:20 – The big dance numbers when they make patterns are so eye-popping. 8:10 – ‘I’m trying to climb the corporate fence here.” 12:45 – You know box of tricks is just another way of saying specialist skills. 14:43 – “I would kick so much ass at momming.” 16:40 – I’m still not convinced a bear can use the touchscreen phone. 23:06 – Their definition of being a parent is questionable! 23:16 –“ Thunder buddies for life!” 31:23 – Don’t like sad Ted. 35:22 – Loving the Monopoly references. Drive around the block! 40:16 – Training montages are fun with Ted! 42:02 – “You are pop culture illiterate.” Yep, me too. 47:13 – Bless the whole divorce thing, when it’s really just Mila not coming back. 53:21 – Random Steven Tyler smackdown. 55:47 – Not as cool as AEIOU though. 1:02:46 – He’s so violent for a teddy bear. 1:04:12 – “You people are monsters.” 1:07:49 – Seth really has a thing about her eyes! 1:11:29 – Misuse of the Jurassic Park music, humph! 1:12:20 – And a quote too. They’ve gone too far this time! 1:20:30 – “I think I want to sleep on a bed of your voice.” 1:26:10 – “I’ve been mistaken for an Ewok three times today.” 1:29:11 – I knew Neil Diamond would be the downfall of someone. 1:43:19 – I was suspicious but it was still shocking!
This was such a hit and miss film. It wasn’t a patch on the first one, although I wasn’t expecting it to be at all. The trouble is, the story was nowhere near as good - although underneath there was a really good point about where the line for human/animal/teddy bear rights is drawn. It’s like there was a great discussion to be had, but Seth opted to skirt around it for most of the film. In the end, this was just a vehicle for some more of the tasteless nonsense of the first.
But that’s not to say there weren’t moments of genius in there. A lot of it was so quotable, and although I was grumpy about using the Jurassic Park music, it was done quite well. Even stupid things like Ted firing a gun and disappearing off screen due to the kickback, there were plenty of laugh out loud moments.
I liked the introduction of Amanda Seyfried, she seemed a lot more of an interesting character than Mila’s ever did, but I have to say that Morgan Freeman was criminally underused.
It’s probably one of those sequels that shouldn’t really exist, but it’s not the worst I’ve seen by a long shot.