The Longest Week

Published September 20, 2014

The Longest Week

Film info

  • Title The Longest Week
  • Director Peter Glanz
  • Year 2014
  • Run time 1hr 26m
  • Genres Comedy, Drama
  • Tagline She had him at 'I'm your best friend's girlfriend'

Conrad Valmont is the over-educated, under-employed heir to the Valmont Hotel fortune. Though he's spent most of his adult life enjoying a playboy lifestyle on a diet of Tom Collins cocktails, at 40 years old, he finds himself suddenly cut off from his allowance and tossed out into the unforgiving streets of the Upper West Side. Luckily, he is taken in by his old friend Dylan, and returns the favour by immediately falling for Dylan's beautiful girlfriend, Beatrice. A hilarious love triangle ensues as Conrad attempts to woo Beatrice all over the city in secret. All's fair in love and war, right? That is, until she finds out he's completely broke... and Dylan finds out his best friend has stolen his girl.

Background info

Title: The Longest Week Director: Peter Glanz Year: 2014 Run time: 1hr 26m

Live blog

1:36 - Intrigued to see a film with an opening credit “Narrated by…” 4:16 - “I’m in the gathering stages.” 7:28 - You can’t just have a conversation with your therapist that goes “I don’t know, I don’t care.” Not very constructive! 9:29 - It’s quite like Arrested Development in the narration, actually. Very Jason Bateman. 14:24 - What kind of perfume is unisex?? 17:03 - What else is the mistress for, I wonder. 19:55 - Slo-mo squash! 22:12 - “No, I just really hate plants.” 25:40 - Dude spent like a whole day saying he wouldn’t but he has. 28:30 - What’s a Tom Collins? I want to try one. 35:26 - “Maybe the bridge is about to explode and no one told me.” 43:19 - On being told he’s lying to himself. “I know, I’m okay with it.” 44:25 - They often show scooter riding together in a romantic montage. I don’t get it. It’s scary! 46:47 - Gosh, I want a piano. 56:59 - He sort of broke into a hotel just for cigarettes. Addiction, eh? 59:52 - Scooters are dangerous. 1:06:13 - Love a good existential crisis. 1:15:20 - You can’t just blame the therapist!


This one caught our eye as the trailer looked good, and the cast interesting enough. It seemed perhaps a bit arty for our not-so-sophisticated taste, but it was also beautifully short so was able to be squeezed in what we have dubbed Double Film Watch day.

I really enjoyed it. Something a bit different, brilliant to have a narrator, and so artfully done, each shot was exquisite. I was confused to start with because it felt like they were in France, going to French theatre, and cafés, etc, but then they clearly weren’t, so my brain had to shift halfway through the film.

Jason Bateman was excellent, but I really liked Dylan. Cool, calm and collected when his friend was turning his life upside down. Really good, very worth watching.

(As an aside, I think the cover/poster doesn’t do the film justice. It’s way more instagrammed and much less modern than the picture makes it look.)

Rating: 4/5

Rating: 4 / 5

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