Title: Battleship Director: Peter Berg Year: 2012 Run time: 1hr 31
My 250th film! Officially halfway through the Life List challenge. I had wondered whether this should be a special, well-thought out movie, chosen for it’s bearing on history or much-loved status. In the end, we just went for what was within easy reach on the iTunes menu. The trailer for this looked reasonably good, although I was a bit wary of the Battleship-game-turned-movie concept. How does that work?
00:19 - I like the 100th Anniversary Universal ident. Very big. 02:15 - Goldilocks planets. 04:04 - “I’m not cheersing to that.” 10:49 - Rihanna’s first words are: “Get up, you drama queen.” 11:21 - There’s so much unlikely about this. The US playing Japan, the military people playing nice, they’re playing actual football! 15:01 - Geez, there is so much lens flare in space, it’s amazing astronauts aren’t blind. 18:19 - I have no idea what is going on. Fun though. 19:38 - This is so Armageddon!
It’s hard to know where to start from this one. It was, for one thing, a blatant and terrible rip off of Armageddon - but done really badly. The scenes (that we saw) fell into one another without seeming to be connected, things were happening for no apparent reason with no real explanation of why. And the movements of the main characters were very confusing. The two guys looked as though they were on different boats, but then were chatting in a cabin.
I’m usually the first to stand up and applaud an action film, no matter how cheesy or bad, but this one was just a step too far for even me.