Title: The Guard Director: John Michael McDonagh Year: 2011 Run time: 1hr 36
Things that attracted me to this movie: It’s set in Ireland, it looks kinda fun, it’s short.
1:51 - Ireland is so pretty. 3:16 - This film is made in association with a lot of people and I’ve not heard of any of them except the UK Film Council. 5:47 - “The significance of the pot plant has me somewhat perplexed.” 14:34 - It looks very cold though, it’s nice he has a big warm police coat. 17:32 - What kind of rubbish slide system is it that he has to say next each time!? 23:30 - Applying for the post of International Drug Trafficker. I wonder what that job interview is like. 25:26 - Some call him rude, others would say honest. Actually, probably only he would call it honest. 27:37 - Ooh, that is a nice dressing gown. 29:26 - His front door slides, rather than opens. 33:28 - “Why do you keep repeating everything I say?” 40:04 - Didn’t take him long being in Ireland to start hitting the Guinness. 41:47 - It’s like RoboCop. He got “whacked” on his first day too. 42:45 - He’s hard enough to understand sober, I do not enjoy this drunkenness! 46:12 - “Big map, people pointing, it must be important.” 51:23 - Why is the FBI’s Behavioural Science unit so famous? 56:59 - Milkshake headache!! 1:02:08 - They keep putting the bad guys in beautiful and peaceful locations. 1:06:23 - Is it sugar cubes that he keeps eating? That’s quite gross. 1:12:52 - Running with the bulls is definitely not on my bucket list. 1:16:03 - That kid is always around! 1:17:03 - New interesting job interview: henchman. 1:23:43 - He really is a good shot. 1:28:20 - I am enjoying all these Irish names in the credits.
I quite liked it, which comes as a surprise to me because in the first few minutes I wondered what I’d let myself in for. There’s plenty of stuff that goes against the grain, and all the characters drop the F-word ever three seconds, and that’s only once you get in the zone and start understanding what they’re saying. But, it was laugh out loud funny in places, had a great cast of characters and a good ending. Plus, it made me want to go to Ireland again.
My gut instinct tells me this film is a 3 out of 5, but the scene with the milkshake is worth a whole point in itself.