Title: Mission: Impossible Director: Brian De Palma Year: 1996 Run time: 1hr 50
I can’t quite understand how it is that I’ve not seen Mission Impossible before. I know all the stuff - this mission will self destruct, and the theme tune and stuff, but I actually had no idea what the story was or how the film played out. Finally available in HD on iTunes, this was our chance to find out.
0:18 - The drums sound like the A Team. I’ll wait for the proper MI music. 2:30 - Ooh, fake room, that’s so cool. 3:12 - Oh, actually, the music just makes me think of Ace Ventura. D’oh. 5:32 - I love a movie that gives me full synopsis before it starts. Missions are ace. 6:11 - “This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.” 8:29 - Twice they’ve mentioned she’s his wife. Important? 10:18 - Ooh. Netscape Navigator alert! 10:57 - Amazing how quick the team have been introduced and straight into action. 15:07 - I love Tom’s disguise. He’s oooold. 16:50 - They all seem to be playing chicken with the lift. I don’t like it. 22:56 - This mission has not gone so well. 25:19 - Not many people from the opening credits appear to have survived. 31:08 - This music is quite annoying. 36:36 - Ye olde internet is so cute. 42:36 - That sewn up balaclava is the scariest thing ever. 46:01 - Hehehe, an actual floppy disk. 51:08 - Ehhh, it’s the only French man in the world! Awesome! 55:47 - Oops, imagine causing a total CIA lockdown because your coke dripped. 58:28 - “Zero body count.” 1:01:55 - It seems to me that the glasses might fall off. 1:02:38 - It’s so quiet, I can’t imagine watching this in the cinema. 1:11:34 - It was all going so well! 1:18:46 - See, the mistake they have made here is that he’s gone Rogue™ and they’re giving him The Rage™. 1:28:41 - It’s wrong to think of the Lewis and Jenson photoshoot whenever you see that angle of Tower Bridge. 1:31:33 - She just said Chunnel! 1:34:37 - Ooops, busted. 1:38:52 - OMG, high speed train scene. This is about as awesome as it gets. 1:40:48 - Although, helicopter in the tunnel is about as ridiculous as it gets.
It wasn’t at all what I thought it might be. I suspected it might be either funnier - like Ocean’s Eleven - or more serious - like Bourne. It was somewhere in between, but I couldn’t quite figure out where it was trying to place itself. I’m not really a massive fan of Tom Cruise, but he did a decent job, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen quite such an impressive display of The Rage™.
There were a couple of twists and turns I wasn’t expecting, which is good. However, I lost the plot a couple of times, mostly because I am quite stupid, but even so, that doesn’t speak well of the film to me. I also think the end was just so far removed from reality it was stupid. A helicopter in a tunnel, and all that followed? It might as well have been a cartoon. Even the most silly Bond is more believable than that. It was a passable way to spend a couple of hours but I don’t think I was missing much all this time.