- Title Transformers
- Director Michael Bay
- Year 2007
- Run time 2hrs 22m
- Genres Science Fiction, Action, Adventure
- Tagline Their war. Our world.
From director Michael Bay and executive producer Steven Spielberg comes a thrilling battle between the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons. When their epic struggle comes to Earth, all that stands between the Decepticons and ultimate power is a clue held by young Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf). Sam and Bumblebee, his robot disguised as a car, are in a heart-pounding race against an enemy unlike anything anyone has seen before.
I have never seen the original Transformers series. In fact, I think my only knowledge of the Transformers concept was a weird plane thing that I inherited as a kid, and about two parts moved to make it into a robot. I’ve heard of Megatron but Mr C laughed a lot when I asked about the Decepticles.
|00:00:32 - These noises are quite creepy.|
|00:02:12 - I so recognised the Osprey from its shadow. Mr C is a bad influence on me.**|
|** 00:03:07 - He said: “I just can’t wait to hold my baby girl for the first time.” He’s not going to make it, clearly.|
|00:04:56 - It’s like Top Gun.|
|**00:06:42 **- Okay, so I am new to this Transformers business. What if they didn’t have the right parts to pretend to be a helicopter?|
|**00:08:54 - There’s no way you can fight something like that!|
|** **00:12:08 - Serves him right, he’s a bit of a brat.|
|** **00:14:46 **- Cars pick their drivers. Just like Herbie.|
|**00:16:53 - Their lead is a sound? I can’t see how that is much help.|
|****00:25:20 - Oh my god, she’s annoying.|
|**00:26:52 - Why does the car care if he has a girlfriend?|
|00:30:53 - “They’re hacking into Air Force One!"**|
|** 00:40:27 - It doesn’t look much like a helicopter anymore. Where did the rotor bits go?**|
|**** ** 00:44:26 - Planes can fire from the side?**|
|** 00:48:22 - “Satan’s Camaro."**|
|00:54:58 - The one that turns into a hi-fi has sounded both like ET and a Gremlin.|
|** 00:57:01 - It was a radio and now its a phone? I don’t get it.|
|01:00:05 - Armageddon! A film reference I get! Woooohoo.|
|01:01:16 - Scariest tooth fairy ever.**|
|** 01:02:20 - You know, Shia LaBoeuf looks like David Platt. I can’t unsee it.|
|01:03:49 - Awkward.|
|01:06:29 - I always knew eBay would be the downfall of us all.|
|01:10:44 - Transformer said: “Sorry, my bad.” Hehehe.**|
|**01:12:20 - Send the woman to find them, instead of a silly man search.|
|01:13:21 - Optimus Prime is definitely awesome.**|
|** 01:28:24 - Where did all the dry ice come from?|
|01:30:28 - Good grief, no communication at all? No internets?|
|01:31:31 - There is something ABOVE top secret!|
|01:35:41 - You can’t roll out on foot. Silly Transformers.|
|01:39:56 - They are keeping the two strange alien things right next door to each other. Smart.|
|01:41:34 - I wish my phone did that! Maybe with the next Android upgrade.|
|01:43:46 - “I’m gonna count to five.” “I’m gonna count to three."**|
|01:55:56 - It’s hard to feel emotional though. The head of the thing turned into a phone, what’s left of Bumble Bee could turn into something else too.|
|02:00:14 - It’s all very well Prime coming in to save the day. Where was he earlier?|
|**02:12:30 - Why didn’t they just shove it in his chest in the Hoover Dam?|
|02:14:16 - He got to hold the baby! I was wrong.|
I suspect a lot of people were concerned this would ruin their childhood, and thankfully I cannot say one way or the other, having no knowledge of Transformers before this. It wasn’t a bad film, in fact, I feel like it had the potential to be brilliant, but it was let down in a lot of ways.
There are a gazillion plot holes. I felt like I was forced to suspend my belief on top of the suspended belief that comes with an alien robot story. Too many questions, not enough answers, and checking with Mr C showed some inconsistencies that didn’t exist in the TV show era.
It was hard to engage with the film because neither of the lead characters were particularly nice. He was a brat, although brave. She was clearly just cast because she was thin. Whilst I held some respect for Optimus Prime, who seemed cool (I want one!), it’s also hard to be bothered about robots fighting robots for a cube. Particularly when the solution was what it was.
The CGI though, was incredible. I was so impressed. I had some concerns that the fighting would get a bit confusing, just a mess of metal, and whilst that was the case, it was still some pretty impressive footage. Beautiful cinematography too. Just enough good stuff to outweigh the bad, I think.
Rating: 3 / 5