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The King's Man

Published February 13, 2022

The King's Man

Film info

  • Title The King's Man
  • Director Matthew Vaughn
  • Year 2021
  • Run time 2hrs 11m
  • Genres Action, Adventure, War, Thriller
  • Tagline Witness the bloody origin

A group of history's worst tyrants and criminal masterminds, including Rasputin, has gathered to plot a mercenary war that will wipe out millions of innocent people across the world. Dedicated to stopping the imminent carnage, Kingsman founding member, the Duke of Oxford, recruits a protégé, Conrad, to join the organisation and help set history on a more positive course.

Live blog

Time Comment
2:51 It’s SO hard to take Charles Dance seriously these days, no matter how fab he is.
5:23 That is a thousand per cent his fault she got shot, stupid idea to make a run for it.
11:37 How long has that shop actually been there?
15:38 I’m loving the farm on the top of a rock!
20:35 “I just protected you, I don’t need protecting.”
23:06 It still boggles my mind that it’s the three cousins behind everything.
27:20 The time lapse of a green land being turned into muddy trenches is incredible.
35:47 SUBMARINE!
42:42 “Polly, get baking.” And yet somehow, it’s not really sexist in this context.
57:41 That was one of the weirdest fight sequences ever.
1:19:33 That’s the thing that gets me, these kids thinking they’re doing the noble thing and so quickly realising it’s hell on earth.
1:23:45 Okay, I didn’t see that coming AT ALL.
1:28:59 The White Hoose.
1:32:29 Polly FTW.
1:37:31 “Mr Collins, cashmere book number one, please.” Things you don’t expect to hear.
1:42:08 Goats don’t do that, do they? Not even mountain goats!
1:46:25 Is there such a thing as underwatch?
1:56:40 Goat rage.

Thoughts

If I’m honest, I did hold out a bit of a hope that this movie might be a return to form for the Kingsman series. The first was so good, the second so bad, but this being a prequel, I thought maybe it could break the pattern. I was so wrong. This movie really wasn’t great anyway, too long, dipping often into the ridiculous, and actually quite boring - the surprising shot to the head was the only bit I actually felt some kind of emotion.

But more than anything, this was SO offensive, effectively dismissing so many of the heartbreaking things about the war, in particular the sacrifice of so many. Genuinely, the idiot man stood at the end and said winning the war was all down to stupid Oxford and his son. “Oh, and the millions of people who died,” they add as an afterthough. Just outrageous.

The only thing I took away from this film, apart from rage, is a desire to learn a bit more about Russian history.

Rating: 1 / 5

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