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Godzilla vs. Kong

Published April 5, 2021

Godzilla vs. Kong

Film info

  • Title Godzilla vs. Kong
  • Director Adam Wingard
  • Year 2021
  • Run time 1hr 57m
  • Genres Science Fiction, Action
  • Tagline One will fall

Legends collide as Godzilla and Kong, the two most powerful forces of nature, clash in a spectacular battle for the ages. As Monarch embarks on a perilous mission into fantastic uncharted terrain, unearthing clues to the Titans' very origins, a human conspiracy threatens to wipe the creatures, both good and bad, from the face of the earth forever.

Live blog

TimeComment
1:27Mmm, waterfall shower.
3:04I wasn’t expecting this to be the Truman Show.
6:19The credits have set this up with competition bandings, so this must be the Wimbledon final.
10:28A Titan fire drill.
13:24How can he possibly be on podcast episode 246 when they haven’t even been sighted for three years?
18:45“I love crazy ideas. They made me rich.”
22:34Haven’t seen an Osprey yet, looks like Monarch upgraded to helicopters.
25:33Heav is a terrible name for a vehicle.
33:35Wait, what does tap water have to do with the Nazis?
40:37I just don’t really want them to fight each other, of all the Titans, they’re the nicest ones.
43:24Huge question marks over the aircraft carrier being able to take the weight of these giants.
51:25Hyperloop!
51:42Why didn’t they just fly him in the first place?
59:46Where does the light come from in this place?
1:16:30Who made the axe? I didn’t think apes could make tools.
1:22:13These three are great though. The woman with the villain hair-do!
1:39:52The destruction though, jeez.
1:41:53Would love to know the ratio of men to women that worked on this film.

Thoughts

I honestly don’t know where to begin with this. I thought the previous Godzilla film was bad but this was absolute nonsense. Firstly, it has a fundamental problem in that all the humans in it are making terrible choices from start to finish and so it’s hard to feel sorry for them. Secondly, so much monster on monster action, and last film Godzilla was the hero but now he’s the big bad? So confused.

Thirdly, whilst I quite liked the Scooby Doo gang going round investigating something, they literally had no bearing on the plot whatsoever. And elsewhere, so many plot holes and SO MANY QUESTIONS. I wasn’t aware of the Screen Rant pitch meeting videos before but this is so perfect it really is all the things wrong with this movie. Where DOES the light source come from?

The previous one was just a bit nonsensical and dull. This one actively makes me angry just thinking about it.

Rating: 1 / 5

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