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117. The Expendables

Published February 5, 2011

Fast Facts

Title: The Expendables Director: Sylvester Stallone Year: 2010 Run time: 1hr 43

Background Info

I was wary of this film because I figured that it might have concentrated on getting an A list cast more than anything else - production values and writing and such-like. I didn’t want it to be a gimmick, I wanted it to be good.

Live Blog

00:01:39 - Stallone wrote this? I didn’t realise he did the writing thing. I am learning. 00:05:37 - Best warning shot ever! Or worst, really.** **00:12:49 - She used to be in Buffy.** **00:13:37 - I always wonder how people ride a bike with such high handlebars. Don’t their arms go to sleep?** **00:19:59 - Bruce!** **00:22:01 - “He wants to be President.” Ha!** **00:26:30 - It’s like a really bad-ass version of Ocean’s Eleven.** **00:30:08 - It’s clever to take video with what looks like a still camera.** **** ****00:42:21 - I think Sylvestor is a bit old for all this running and catching hold of moving planes business. ****00:43:32 - Why are they going back? ****00:45:00 **- Wouldn’t the flames travel up the spray back to the plane? **00:47:25 - Rogue man! ****00:55:11 - I don’t really get what that loooong story has to do with anything? ****01:00:09 **- Life is harder when you are smaller.

[…]

Conclusions

So, I don’t know if it was because neither of us were feeling 100% or if the film really was that bad but we switched off after an hour. I wanted to like it, I really did, but it made no sense. They were a weird gang to begin with, the story was strange, I couldn’t understand half of what they were mumbling and in the end, I just wanted it to stop. I like the two cameos, and I like the bit at the very beginning when he said: “I’m getting a text.” That’s about it.

Rating: Unrated.

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