Title: The Joneses Director: Derrick Borte Year: 2009 Run time: 1hr 36
I wasn’t 100% convinced by the trailer of this one, and was more intrigued by the thought of Demi Moore and the guy from the X Files acting opposite each other than by the story itself. Nevertheless, with lots of festive free time, and a relatively cheap rental, we settled down to keep up with the Joneses.
00:02:33 - It’s all far too neat for moving day. Moving day = chaos. 00:03:53 - New HTC. No specific name as they change so freakishly often. 00:06:32 - It must be weird pretending to be a happy family and having to be nice to everyone all the time. What are they even trying to sell? 00:10:17 - These men just spend their weekdays playing golf? No jobs?** **00:10:46 - Meanwhile, she’s getting a facial. Definitely no jobs.** **00:16:09 - Who needs three cars, really?** **00:19:29 - They’re good at what they do but a) how do they make money and b) what is this film actually about?** **00:23:25 - Why would she protect him? She doesn’t seem to like him very much.** **00:25:24 - It’s sneaky. I don’t like it.** **00:26:54 - “It was a Tuesday gift… just for being a Tuesday.” Take note!** ******00:29:20 - I don’t understand how you move somewhere and get a cult following in two months. Especially at school.** ****00:31:33 **- How can their house be so tidy after a party? **00:36:44 - If they could sell me anything it would be the mammoth fridge. Big fridges are lovely. ****00:40:11 - Talk about a public display of affection. ********00:43:38 - Now they are sharing brands? How does this business model work? ****00:50:46 **- A year with a pretend husband seems like a long time. **00:53:12 **- There’s so much product placement in this film, where do you start? **00:54:41 - Nice heels to play golf in. ****00:56:36 - Suddenly she is being nice to him when he can get her the icon status. ****00:58:47 **- It’s suddenly taken a worrying turn. Drink driving? **01:03:37 - Phew. Not too worrying a turn in the end. ****01:05:22 **- Like any normal family, it’s all got a bit complicated. **01:06:51 **- That girl has no shame. **01:11:11 - Aww, I like it when they’re all nice to each other. ****01:12:39 **- Uh oh, finding out about the last husband. Always risky. **01:15:47 **- What is foreclosure? I’m guessing it means no money. **01:20:18 **- That is sad, but… that is quite an amazing way to go. **01:22:48 **- I do believe he may have gone rogue. **01:25:05 **- Of course she took the deal after he ruined her life. Hardly a fair “I told you so.” **01:26:39 **- He’s going to ruin another gig for her! **01:29:49 - Damn, he almost got to keep the car. **
This was surprisingly good in the end, but it took a long time before it started making sense. The business model still remains a mystery, and for at least half the film I was pondering exactly where they were going with it all. Maybe that’s a good thing? It certainly wasn’t predictable. I enjoyed the fact that there was a romance element but it wasn’t mushy, and I would mark it higher if the premise actually made it a bit more sense.