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Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?!

Published December 15, 2019

Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?!

Film info

  • Title Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?!
  • Director Debbie Isitt
  • Year 2014
  • Run time 1hr 49m
  • Genre Comedy
  • Tagline Fantastic flashmob, excitable elves, and Archie the donkey!

This Christmas the children of St. Bernadette's primary school face their biggest adventure yet as they enter a Christmas flashmob competition to win a trip to New York! The only problem is their new teacher Mr Shepherd has lost his memory and can't recall anything about Christmas, and even worse - he has no idea where he left Mr Poppy's beloved donkey. Now the children must remind Mr Shepherd of what Christmas is all about before their Christmas turns into the most disastrous ever.

Live blog

TimeComment
1:36Well, that’s a look for Adam Garcia!
4:16I don’t think I’d look at a dance troupe and immediately think flashmob, could be totally sanctioned.
8:11She really is Mrs Mean!
12:45I really wouldn’t be keen on wearing cast off uniform.
16:16I wonder if the friend got the job because she was also the friend in the Catherine Tate show.
18:25“Because he’s got the rhythm. I told you, he’s a dancing donkey.” Of course he is.
21:48I mean, I’ll go with it but I really think someone losing their memory after being kicked by a donkey will necessitate a trip to the hospital.
24:10Oh, okay, stand down, they walked to a village doctor. I guess that counts.
29:44It’s also slightly confusing that the plan is to create a brand new him but also surround him with memories.
34:17I’m quite enjoying model village flashmob though.
37:19“Hey dude, where’s my donkey, hey dude, where’s he at.” Annoyingly catchy.
48:22Must be hard to skate dressed as a bauble.
1:01:05Wait, what is the plan? To just steal the tickets? Madness.
1:01:48Why is one of these kids so much older than all the others?
1:06:28“What is wrong with you, can’t you afford socks?”
1:18:27Am so confused why losing his memory would turn him into a complete asshole.
1:34:07“I don’t get to dress up as a snow pig.”
1:35:57I like Lauren’s pink coat.
1:42:38The snow pig is ridiculous but I love it.

Thoughts

What a terrible movie. Honestly, the Nativity series has so far been in the “so bad it’s good” category of brilliant Christmas movies, but this one does not stand up to the rest of them.

For a start, the plot makes no sense, it’s far-fetched and contrived and the sequence of events is utterly ridiculous. I know you’re supposed to suspend your disbelief, but hey, I haven’t even started talking about the fact that Mr Poppy takes a bunch of kids to New York without permission or enough supervision.

Martin Clunes does his best, but it’s hard to like the character he turns into and thus I don’t really want him to get his way, although poor Lauren deserves better. And really, they were banging on about the donkey for most of the movie and it wasn’t exactly crucial to the plot, was it?

Rating: 1 / 5

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